The voice in our head can be an asshole...
We all know "the voice".
The voice that tells you that you aren't good enough.
The voice that tells you that you aren't capable.
The voice that tells you you aren't worthy of love and respect.
The voice that tells you that you will never achieve more then you have.
The voice that tells you to not take chances or change anything about your current situation.
We ALL have the voice in our heads that keeps us from doing things that our soul is longing for, or we know would make us feel good or fulfilled.
The voice that is a loud, rude, bitchy, judgmental, critical, scared, insecure, negative a-hole.
I have had the voice in my head keep me in relationships that were unhealthy and emotionally abusive. "Maybe this is what you deserve Anna." "You need them to love you so that you can feel validated, just try harder."
I have had the voice in my head delay the launching of projects. "Who are you to share this?" "You will be vulnerable and in the line of fire for judgment, don't do it".
I have had the voice make me second guess a post on Instagram where I get vulnerable "What will people think?" "You can't show that you are imperfect Anna, you're a coach!"
Those thoughts, that are the mental equivalent of prolonged forms of Chinese torture tactics.
Those over bearing, relentless, stubborn, loud, omnipresent, mean AF voices, manifested into my anxiety.
I did a great job of ignoring them, and the symptoms of anxiety, for so long that it resulted in my anxiety attack, that quite literally, dropped me to the floor and made the fact that something was "off" so unavoidable that I had no other option but to see what the heck was happening inside my tormented mind.
This threw me deep into the self-help section of the local bookstore, which at the time was not the coolest place to be seen in. With it's neighbours of travel and cooking, going inwards rather then going outwards seemed like a backwards journey, nonetheless, I started it anyways.
The voices that once yelled out things like "you are worthless", "no one will love you", "you will amount to nothing", "you are a failure', 'you aren't capable", are now saying quite the opposite. "You are worthy," "you are lovable", "you are destined for success", "you are capable" and other such self affirming niceties.
Now, I do admit that my mind has it's moments of attempted self-sabotage, but with an increased level of awareness, non-judgement and compassion, I am able to steer the train back on track quickly, rather then my earlier years of spinning out of control and heading straight down the rabbit hole of self-induced misery and anxiety.
The practices and tools I picked up along the way, and then made them my own, became the foundation on which I live and navigate through my life. They have also become the platform for my coaching business and life's mission.
Even though they have transitioned and transformed, they have always revolved around the idea that to gain control of your life, you have to gain control of your mind first...or at the very least, not allow it to have control over you.
Releasing limiting beliefs (aka that asshole in your head), retraining your brain and reclaiming your inner power are three main pillars that in my opinion, through personal experience and work with hundreds of clients and students, are the basis to transformative shifts in ones life.
Meditation, being an integral part of all three pillars, is one of the most profound ways to enter this potential transformation. It is the initiation and invitation of your conscious mind to meet your unconscious mind, as the witness and observer, rather then the reactor and victim.
This is where you have the opportunity to see your thoughts for what they are, just thoughts. Not alternate mini realities, potential fear based scenarios, or a series of overdramatic, telenovela style plot lines with no bearing in reality, just thoughts. Then you can start to disassociate from them and replace them with more rational, calm and confidence yielding thoughts.
This is a process that tends to be a bit more difficult at first because, let's be serious, we have let that voice in our head run rampant for a long ass time that reeling that sucker in from it's dark and twisted depths takes some mental muscle. Hence the 'training' in mindset training.
Each time you sit in a meditation and get pulled away by thought, all you have to do is compassionately and without judgment, bring yourself back to your breath. You get to enjoy the, albeit momentary, relief of mind chatter before doing the same song and dance again, and again, and again. Each time you bring yourself back to your breath, it's like doing a mental push up. Bootcamp for the brain, crossfit for the conscious, pilates for the prefrontal cortex... you get the point.
You get better and better at realizing when your mind is going in a misguided, reactionary direction and can bring yourself back into an aligned and present state quicker and quicker. This takes time and practice, but boy oh boy is it a powerful place to cultivate. What meditation does is trains you for your day to day situations. When your mind chatter goes in a direction that starts to make you feel anxious, insecure, worried, overwhelmed, scared, confused and judgmental, you can have a higher awareness and make the conscious decision to pivot your way back to inner peace, calm, confidence, faith, clarity, trust, and love.
You can start to replace the not so pro-you thoughts with more empowering ones. Some may call this 'fake it till yah make it' but I want to sound fancy so let's call it autosuggestion. Autosuggestion is based on the premise that you can tell your subconscious mind something enough times that it actually believes you.
To prove that this works, think of something. or a few things, you have been telling yourself for so long that you actually believe it to be true and have based your identity or life around. What we don't realize is that your ideas, beliefs and agreements around yourself, money, love, work and life have mostly been handed down to you from your parents, teachers, religious leaders, mentors and social networks. We have dug ourself into quite the deep proverbial hole with endless sources of botched and untrue of ideas, thoughts, judgments, biases and agreements from other people and their limiting view on life.
The rest of these false and limiting thoughts have been picked up along our journey through our own set of experiences, pains, failures, rejections, traumas, mistakes, heart-breaks and embarrassments. So many of our thoughts and beliefs do not impact us in a positive way especially because the ones we hold onto the most, in a self defence mechanism kind of way, are the limiting and fear based thoughts that keep us small, stuck and scared.
Since a belief is just something you tell yourself enough times that you start to believe it, why not just switch the narrative? Why couldn't we just replace those negative and limiting thoughts and beliefs with positive, reaffirming, kind, compassionate, loving and high vibe beliefs?
The human brain is a magical place. With immense studies in neuroscience and the more recent understanding of neuroplasticity, in short, the idea that our brains are mouldable, trainable and reprogrammable and not set in their old fashion, restricted, DNA determined, can't teach an old dog new trick, ways. There is hope for us after-all.
The trick is having an increased level of awareness of what narrative is playing, and if it is not making you feel very good, then change it. Simple concept, but not always easy to apply at first.
Just to be clear, I am not promoting a suppression of feelings and emotions, as that causes a plethora of other under the surface issues, but more of a working with the thoughts rather then having them work against us.
You can choose how you see, perceive and approach any given situation. Your choice of perception will make said person, place, thing or situation, what it is. Everything is neutral until we pin an emotion or feeling to it. This is where mindset training starts to really yield powerful results.
If you can choose your mindset, then you can choose how you feel. Life becomes so much more magical that way. You feel better more often. You show up in your life in a more positive way. You overcome obstacles with more ease. Your relationships benefit. You vibrate at a higher frequency and by doing so you attract more abundance in all areas of your life, personal, financial, romantic and experiential. The opportunities are infinite and it all starts in the mind. It all starts with that voice in your head and realizing it's only being an asshole because you've given it continued permission to.
Your mind is much more powerful then you have previously given it credit for, so why not use it for good, rather then let it cause unnecessary pain and emotional unrest.
So, if you are like me and hundreds of millions of people who are suffering with anxiety or over active mind chatter, embark on the journey that will benefit all areas of your life in profound ways.
Start your mindset training journey as soon as you possibly can! Hit up the self-help section of your bookstore to grab virtually any of the books I recommend in my MondYay Memos every week, get a mindset coach (I know a really good one..... ;) , start to tell a better feeling story about yourself and your life, use affirmations that will make you feel good and increase your level of faith in yourself and your journey, or buy a program that can help you shift your perspective and tap into your power.
If you are ready to choose YOU and get this journey started today in an extremely affordable way.... check out what I have got for you below.
This program helps men and women suffering from anxiety find inner peace and self empowerment through meditation, thought re-patterning and mindset training.
This will not only help those who have anxiety, but anyone who is stressed, overwhelmed, or is a victim to the self-sabotaging mind chatter. (So basically most of the people on this planet!!)
Click here to learn more and get your journey started today!
We rise together.
One breath, one meditation, one day at a time.