'Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go 'Uh, I'm kind of an asshole.' - Louis CK
Couldn't have said it better myself! The journey of self development and self care doesn't mean you just focus on the parts of yourself that are shiny and bright. Yes, we are awesome and have so many things to be proud of ...but the real growth opportunities are hidden in the shadows. The places we avoid, deny and deflect.
This means being brave enough to own up to, expose and be honest about who you really are. From the glowing and lovely side all the way down to the side that's dark and downright twisty. I'm talking about the side of yourself where you feel a sense of shame, guilt or denial.
The deeper I go into my own self awareness journey I find myself in situations where my shadow side is revealed.
I have had moments of realization that have shown me, more than once, that I have parts of myself that I need to fine tune. The unconscious, impulsive, reactive ( and lets be honest.. pretty shitty) way we feel, act, think and speak in certain moments simply exposes where we need to shine the most love and light.
So I am taking this time to be open and honest about myself so that in turn you can find the bravery to do the same. Whether it's to yourself, your journal, a close friend or someone who you have hurt because of your shadow...this is your chance to harness the power that lies in the cold hard truth. Because until we can truly admit, reveal and feel, we won't ever be able to heal.
My turn to strip down:
(Ego voice screaming 'NOOOOOOO ANNA DON'T DO IT'!! Well I am doing it anyways!!)
I do not take criticism well. I get defensive. I counter attack. I excuse. And I sometimes even defensively find faults in the other person to patch up my ego. (Whoopsies!)
Through this cold hard honest look at myself and my reactions, I have been able to do so much amazing healing in the last few months that have left me feeling lighter, more aware and very clear.
Self Awareness and Self Development will NOT always feel good, but unless you uncover and come face to face with your shadow side... you will never truly be able to come into the light.
HeartWork For You:
Bust out a journal and answer the following questions (answer honestly ... no one else is going to read it... so you would only be lying to yourself).
Take your time. Put your phone on airplane mode. Write out whatever you feel flows from an honest and vulnerable place... and really allow yourself to REVEAL & FEEL. It's ok... let it all out.
1. How do I act sometimes that I am NOT proud of?
2. What is something that I do that hurts peoples feelings, either to their face or behind their backs?
3. What is something I say to / about myself that doesn't make ME feel good?
4. What is a limiting belief that I have about myself or my life?
5. What is my biggest fear?
HeartWork + Healing Meditation:
[Breathe deeply, rewrite these statements in your journal & repeat as many times as you need to.]
I am not my past.
I am not my mistakes.
I am not my failures.
I am not my fears.
I am not my reactions.
I am not my limiting beliefs.
I am not what others think of me.
I am always changing.
I am always evolving.
I embrace all that I am.
I am open to all that I can be.
I forgive myself.
I thank myself.
I love myself.
We must shine light on our darkness, or else it will always stay hidden in the shadows narrating and controlling our lives, feelings, emotions and decisions. Take away it's power by shining your light and love on it...because they are like vampires, they don't do well in sunlight. Burn baby burn!
Let's shine together friends.
One meditation at a time.
Namast'Go into the light!